Silent Noise

Once upon a time I lived where the actual sound of total silence was possible.  You didn’t hear the neighbors, the air unit, cars, planes, trains, people, animals, nothing.  Just silence.  It would roar when I would step out on my patio and look at the night sky, if I strained my ears I could hear the tiny babbling of the nearby creek or a twitter of a night-dwelling insect.

In surbia there is no such thing as silence.  In our household right now the air unit is blowing,  no noisey appliances are running, the kids are not awake, tv’s and steros are turned off, and occassionally I hear a sigh/snore from the nearby sleeping cat.  Birds are squaking outside, cars are rumbling in the distance and occassionally a loud neighbor wizzes down the quiet street.  Dogs are barking in the distance and some idiot cannot control the bass in their sound system.  Even though it’s “quiet” in the sense that there is no blaring obvivious noise taking center ring, it’s extremely loud.

We get so tied up into the fast pace of our lives, we forget to slow down and listen to the sounds of silence.  It seems like no matter where you go the achievement of total silence is hard to come by, as even air makes a noise.    My ears have gotten so used to noise that I cannot sleep at night if there is not a “white noise” on. 

If you do any research on noise and the various colors and physics behind “noise” it gives your head a whole different type of noise, commonly known as a headache.

Republican Boobs

Hi.  I’m a Republican, and I have boobs.

In defense of Meghan McCain, a fellow Republican with boobs.  Who found herself chastized by many over posting a picture of herself with cleavage.  Stop.The.Press.  Republican women have boobs.  Yes under those pantsuits and turtlenecks they have boobs. 

Meghan McCain – I’m No Slut

Wait… so if they have boobs then *gasp* could it be that they have the capacity to have sex?

Have we really lost such a grasp on reality that it’s socially accecptable for insurance companies to cover the costs of Cialis for senior citizens, and then we slap the knuckles of a 20somthing girl for showing some cleavage in a fun photo on her Twitter account? 

Every party has it’s issues, but damn.  At least she has a brain behind her boobs, something that many of the “boobs” in Washington cannot say they possess.

I’m a Republican and I have Boobs.

The “Springer” Side

I belive everyone has a “Jerry Springer” side.  That side that when the right buttons are pushed you come out swinging and pulling the offenders hair extentions before throwing them off the stage and into a putrid pool of rotten eggs.

Being a redhead this side of me wants to come out more often than not.  Over my lifetime I have learned to control this impluse and keep it at a dull roar.  I can guarantee you this though; if you want to see my “Springer” side come out then say something about my kids, my parenting abilities or my most closest friends.  When you do one of those things there is no redeeming yourself.  Ever. 

Perhaps I’m too bullheaded to forgive/forget, or perhaps I’m too cut-n-dried when it comes to my decisions of people I choose to be associated with.  Perhaps I have a warped view and deffination of loyallity.  Even so, at the end of the day I know I have stood loyal to those that I love and choose to keep close. 

Don’t mess with my family and friends, don’t insult my parenting and stay far away from my children.  Should you choose to be so stupid, I may not have the self restaint to keep the “Springer” side reigned in next time.  I forgive but I don’t forget.

Chia Obama

You know you have made it when Weird Al mentions you in one of his songs, is obviviously outdated.

Nowadays it’s all the rage and you know you have made it when Chia makes a Chia-Chia head in your image; Chia Obama.

Obama Chia

  The commerical came on in the overnight block on cable last night.  I was too tired to even attempt a forumlation in my head of market saturation and CPM (tv advertising sales speak) over the riddicule inducing spot.  I busted out laughing and in the process woke Bill because it was. just. that. funny.  After my first intial outburst of laughter I wasn’t sure if I wanted to giggle more or cry and screen obsenties. 

What has our country come to?  I mean seriously… the most recent election was a farce, our country is falling apart, and now Chia Obama.  Our President in some ways is already a joke and now this?  Wow.  I bet we as a nation look really strong compared to other nations around the world. 

There is respect for authoritiy, because it’s the right thing to do, even though you may disagree with their actions.  There is respect to the office of President, even if the sitting President is not who you voted for, nor is the President of your chosen political affilation. 

We are the “sweet land of liberty”.  We have the freedom to respect and disrespect whomever we choose, our leaders included.

Our forefathers would be shocked and embarrased to see such a mockery made of the office of our President. 

“Land where my father’s died, land of the pilgrim’s pride.”  The thing about this is, that they fought for our freedom to think and act for ourselves.  That freedom came at a cost much higher than you will see on any tv commercial.

“Yes We Can” and it can be yours now for the low price of $19.95 plus $7.95 shipping. 

“Chanage has come to America”.  Did we really need this much change?  We are even deeper in debt, have a health system that is going to hell in a handbasket, our education systems are even in deeper with the goverment than they were before.  Someone bring us a Republican who knows how to balance a checkbook and priortize their commitments.

I’m not racist, but I can guarantee you that if Obama was a white man he would not be getting the attention that he is.  Because he is a minority everyone is acting like it’s such a victory.  Why is it such a victory if we are a country who has such open boarders as we do?  The war is over, get over it people.  He’s a man.  Who gives a rip about his skin color?  Oh wait… now you are trying to capitalize on his skin color?  Wow.  Your racist colors are showing.

“Liberty”

“Opportunity”

“Prosperity”

“Hope”

I think I would have better luck going out and buying a Buddha to sit on my desk.  At least I don’t have to worry about watering him or triming his afro.

 

I’m proud to be an American.

Mini Assistant

I am in love with my newly self-appointed assistant.  She refuses to stay in her defined space for an extended amount of time and feels the uncontrolable need to invade mine at every available opportunity.  My work processing time has slowed and I’m constantly scanning the area to make sure that my cell phone and beverages are well out of her reach.  Even as I type this, she is sitting in my lap gnawing her fingers, snuggling her little warm body into mine, and probably working on another wet diaper.  We don’t have coffee breaks in this house, we have diaper breaks.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.  Some say she’s spoiled in as much as she desires attention and being held.  I say “Bite Me”.