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The Real Redhead

Tag Archives: Life

Why I don’t write much anymore: part one of a series

26 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by Red in Uncategorized

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exhaustion, Life, sham, Writing

It’s a way too early morning wake up, take meds, try to wind down to go back to sleep for a bit. And woooooo! There went the post.

  • Technological frustrations.
  • Motherhood.
  • Sleep deprivation.

So the great post I had written up in my head (ok so not Pulitzer material, but still) is now gone. Makes me wonder why I even am trying again. My energy what little I have  goes first to the kids, then other humans, then housewife stuff then misc work, now trying to get back to where writing was part of my work is a struggle I am not sure i’m up for. Much less how to explain how it fits into the overall picture to those who are close to me.

Frankly in my humble opinion I sound like a bitchy housewife / stay at home mom, who thinks Apple has WAY over complicated their products and am secretly missing the old “pre-iWorld”, hates the “keychain concept and wants it eliminated, would kill to have one hour uninterrupted just for me to do nothing but write, and someone needs to find a cure for fibromyalgia (and snoring) fast.

 

Love,

The “bitchy housewife / stay at home mom”

www.TheRealRedhead.com

19 Wednesday Mar 2014

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Life, new, Redhead, social media, website

Image by Oleg Volk www.TheRealRedhead.com is live! 

Still working out some kinks and have some growing pains to work out.  There has been so much that has happened in the past couple of years it makes very little sense to try to catch up, honestly that and the ease of other venues of social media have kept me away from my original online love.  I have been hesitant to jump back in, to bring back my world wide web real estate to my beginnings.  Please be patient as the design and content are smoothed out, it’s a work in progress.  I am looking forward to bringing back the dirty laundry and seeing what comes out in the wash, as we all know there is always more dirty laundry. 😉

Lament of a Stretch Mark

02 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by Red in Blogging, Growing Older, Modeling, Thoughts

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Age, Bikini, Growing Older, Life, modeling

I normally wait untill February to start the self flagelation as to my age and how I look for my age. Untill I realized I would be in a bikini this week.

What stay at home mom in her right mind (who is also dealing with a myrid of health issues which is of no help) tries on a bikini in October/November? Well this one. Found out I’d need to don swimming attire soon and figured I’d get the major initial pain over with. (with modeling you need to be prepared for whatever the shoot may call for and more often than not it’s bikini or bra and panties, go figure I’m happier with the lingerie than the swimwear!)

I have NEVER been a fan of wearing bikinis. I have bad luck with them staying where I want them in the water, carrying a baby while wearing one is NOT a good idea, oh and it’s horrifying to see youself in one if you haven’t had a tan in well over a year (medications).  Truth be told I’m not a bikini girl, I’ll wear em’ but I’m much happier in a one piece with a well cut neckline and nice lines from the waist and hips.  Perhaps one day I’ll completly convert, but for the time being I’m 50/50.

There are a few things I’m proud of, the lack of stretch marks after two pregnancies, medical issues and yo-yo dieting over the years have left me with next to no stretch marks, much less that most women my age. (and yes I know this from photographing and photoediting)

I yelped. There where I couldn’t hide them, looked like a small area that could be covered up with body makeup for a shoot.  I have always taken excellent care of my skin, I drink water, eat healthy, use proper skin hydration, etc…. and yet I wasn’t able to hide any longer.  I’m not a pansy but I sat down and shed a few tears. I thought I’d be exempt for a couple more years. Wrong. (Bill swears that he’s having issues seeing them, seeing that he’s more of a perfectionist than me – you have seen his photography and mad edit skills right? – makes me feel a little better.)

In the meantime I’m taking comfort in the fact that I have less than other all-natural models in my league/age group, and maybe one of these days I’ll get a magic wand! Oh and a cute little bathing suit wrap.

The Dirty Laundry of a Mommy Blogger

13 Wednesday Oct 2010

Posted by Red in Blogging, Parenthood, Thoughts, Uncategorized

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Dirty Laundry, Kids, Life, modeling, Mommy, Mommy Blogger, Parenthood

Spit up, dishes, first grade homework, housework, diapers, dirty laundry… oh wait. Dirty Laundry. Dirty Laundry of a different kind. The Dirty Laundry of what I have fought not to be…. a “Mommy Blogger”. 

  Seriously. That’s the explanation I have for being absent from my writing for so long. I didn’t want to become a “Mommy Blogger”.  Not that being a “Mommy Blogger” is a bad thing, it just wasn’t my thing. Now don’t get me wrong, I have done plenty of writing about my kids and I love each and every one of them more than anything. I just feared that tag “Mommy Blogger”. Why? Because I’ve seen it happen again and again and again. A wonderfully entertaining, informative, opinationed womans blog goes to diaper rash the moment the hormones spill out her fingertips. 

Now before I go getting hate mail from the Mommy Bloggers, don’t throw the sticky sippy cups at me!  I’m on your side… I’m one of you! But I’m also on my side. Because guess what? Being a Mom is the best thing ever, it’s my “most favorite” job I’ve ever had! Alas with one child it’s easier to balance your life and their life than it is with multiple kids.  I have always been a “Mommy Blogger”, and very proud of my oldest daughter, but when every draft I started creating was focused soley on my children I realized quickly that my little spot on cyberspace wasn’t about to qualify for ads for diapers as opposed to thongs.

So yes, I am embracing the change. I challenge you to embrace it with me and to stick with me though this transformation. Yes, I will talk about my kids more. Yes, I will keep updates on my recent photoshoots “Mommy Model” and creative developments.  Yes, dust bunnies are my kryptonite. And yes, I will always have dirty laundry.  *wink*

Princess Brave

12 Wednesday May 2010

Posted by Red in Uncategorized

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Tags

Deep Thoughts, Family, Health, Kids, Life, Love, medical

As the medical tech tied the rubber band around my arm to make the veins pop up I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  She thumbed the spot for a few seconds to try to see if there may be one that was more useable than another.  It’s never an easy process of of late as there is some scaring from multiple medical procedures and I’m sure my dislike of needles dosen’t make it much easier.

As the needle finally penetrated my skin and I saw the red liquid flow I didn’t want to see how many vials the tech was taking.  With every passing minute I felt more and more drained.  Surely she would get enough blood by now, surely they had enough vials full of my blood to test.  But no, it kept going and going and going.  The life was slowly being drained out of me and I had no energy to fight it.  No strength to even keep sitting up straight I was soon slumped over and could feel my body drying up on the floor.

Ok so not really.  But pretty darn close. I have been remiss in keeping up on my writings lately.  I have been sick with one thing after another, after another, after another.  I choose to spend my energy on my family as opposed to keeping up my writings but in the past two days I have had more energy than I’ve had in well over two months so I’m making small attempts to come back to the land of the living. 

There has been small joys in all of this.  I am learning more and more every day that you have to focus on the positive, on the good.  There is a way to find the fraction of good in most things, it just takes a not so good situation sometimes to make you see it. 

One thing I have enjoyed is focusing on my kids in a very deliberate “Mommy can’t run around with you but I will gladly cuddle you for hours on end”.   This has resulted in lots of cuddle time and lots of memories being made of that quality time that you can’t buy in any store.

Elle has become quite the explorer and her newest fascinations include cheerios, stealing my cell phone and “pretend typing” when I am on the computer.   Seeing as I spend more time than I like in bed, she has become quite the explorer of our bedroom and seems to find something new every day.  Finding cheerios in my bed in the middle of the night is totally worth it when I remember how she babbled when I placed a small bowl in front of her while she was propped up against some pillows.  It was like she knew that eating in bed was a treat that won’t happen when Mommy feels better.   I love just watching her as she goes about her day in her own happy little world.  I can loose myself in her giggles and grins, it’s so easy to just stare at her in amazement.

Meggie is just the cutest thing ever, we pray together for Mommy to get better and she comes in to give me hugs, kisses and artwork totally unprovoked.  She has discoved the joy of kids movies on the internet, the three of us (if Bill is home) will stack the pillows up in bed, grab the laptop and watch a kids movie.  She gets lots of cuddle time and we will get more time to discuss what we are watching (love the pause button) as we go.  I had to take a trip to the emergency room awhile back, Meggie was a bit under the weather so she went back to see the doctor with me (kill two birds with one stone!) .  While they were sticking my arm with needles I made sure to look straight at her and smile, telling her that what the doctors were doing didn’t hurt enough to complain about and that it was going to make Mommy better.  “Mommy next time I have to go to the doctor I’m going to be princess brave like you.”  How cool is that?  I was “princess brave”.   My beautiful little Meggie is growing up and every day she amazes me more and more.

Even though I feel like death warmed over more often than not as of late, and I’m sure there are days I don’t look much better than that, I am so incredibly thankful my my wonderful husband.  He has been there through everything and I could not ask for a more supportive and loving man.  When you say your weddings vows “in sickness and health” you get visions of growing old together and all the stuff that goes along with that.  You don’t picture being younger and in what should be the prime of your young life.  Throughout our whole relationship I have been sick more often than not, Bill has been to hell and back with me over this time, and I’m looking forward to having many, many, many more years with him (just hopefully healthier too!)

So if I can clear allergy season (ha ha funny! Especially when you live in this allergy ridden part of the country and are allergic to everything, seriously) I am really working at getting somewhat back to the land of the living.  I have focused on the things that are important, my kids and my husband and tried not to think of the things out and about I have missed out on, but focused on the good stuff.  I have missed the land of the living and active and am really trying to make a comeback.  It’s not gonna come quick, or probably even really soon, it’s in a higher powers hands and “helps those who help themselves” is very valid.  The best I can do is be “princess brave” for not only my family but for myself, better days are coming, not that there haven’t already been better days.

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