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I normally wait untill February to start the self flagelation as to my age and how I look for my age. Untill I realized I would be in a bikini this week.

What stay at home mom in her right mind (who is also dealing with a myrid of health issues which is of no help) tries on a bikini in October/November? Well this one. Found out I’d need to don swimming attire soon and figured I’d get the major initial pain over with. (with modeling you need to be prepared for whatever the shoot may call for and more often than not it’s bikini or bra and panties, go figure I’m happier with the lingerie than the swimwear!)

I have NEVER been a fan of wearing bikinis. I have bad luck with them staying where I want them in the water, carrying a baby while wearing one is NOT a good idea, oh and it’s horrifying to see youself in one if you haven’t had a tan in well over a year (medications).  Truth be told I’m not a bikini girl, I’ll wear em’ but I’m much happier in a one piece with a well cut neckline and nice lines from the waist and hips.  Perhaps one day I’ll completly convert, but for the time being I’m 50/50.

There are a few things I’m proud of, the lack of stretch marks after two pregnancies, medical issues and yo-yo dieting over the years have left me with next to no stretch marks, much less that most women my age. (and yes I know this from photographing and photoediting)

I yelped. There where I couldn’t hide them, looked like a small area that could be covered up with body makeup for a shoot.  I have always taken excellent care of my skin, I drink water, eat healthy, use proper skin hydration, etc…. and yet I wasn’t able to hide any longer.  I’m not a pansy but I sat down and shed a few tears. I thought I’d be exempt for a couple more years. Wrong. (Bill swears that he’s having issues seeing them, seeing that he’s more of a perfectionist than me – you have seen his photography and mad edit skills right? – makes me feel a little better.)

In the meantime I’m taking comfort in the fact that I have less than other all-natural models in my league/age group, and maybe one of these days I’ll get a magic wand! Oh and a cute little bathing suit wrap.