The hot water pounded down on me as I stood there in the shower leaned up against the wall. I couldn’t quite describe it but it was one of those powerful surge of emotions that seem to be common among emotional/pregnant women. I was questioning as to why at this time in my life I became blessed with my youngest daughter. Timing wasn’t good, finances aren’t good, and once again a bump (no pun intended) in my career thanks to my body not liking pregnancy. Questioning as to how close we are lead to that line, the line God will never give us more than we can bear.
Then tonight I was laying in the Labor and Delivery unit at the hospital after going into the ER. Worried to death that there some something wrong with “bump”. Turns out that it’s not so good for a woman with AE and asthama to be pregnant… no really? I kept questioning Bill as to what the stats were reading on the monitor screen, knowing that I felt like hell and I knew being worried wasn’t going to help things. Seems that when one is lightheaded your mind runs in circles even more so, coherent thought was not/has not been a solid thing.
Thankfully “Bump” is fine and Mommy is just a “human incubator”, and poor Bill has been working his rear off to take caer of everything just about. In as much pain as this has been I am so releaved every time I feel a kick, poke, flip, push, or some other kind of seamonkey movement from within. I may not be looking forward to more time with the doctors, and I’m petrified of the medical costs and bills, but I’m very much looking forward to meeting our daughter. Going to be sooner rather than later, but as long as she’s okay, I’m okay.