I’ve started doing a little bit of research into going back to school eventually. The more I look into it, the more scared I get. I’m petrified of failure, and frankly… anything having to do with computers is going to require advanced mathmatics… so I’m screwed.

My only issue is, I have such a varied field of interests, I can’t see myself commiting to just one field of study. I want to get more indepth with business studies, computer sciences, sociology, psychology, graphic design, communication and law.

I would like to study more into psychology and feminist studies. It has always intrigued me, and I have always wanted to write. My skills are quite rusty, and my spelling is formidable. (I stopped actually trying awhile back, when you stop trying, you stop improving.) Who knows…. I need at least 4 lifetimes to study and get done what I want to accomplish.

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Somthing occured to me today… in all my years of life… I have never lived in an apartment. Is it odd that I am nearing 30, and have never done that?

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“I could be all you’ve wanted
Make all your dreams come true Surrender my love at the feet of your will
And live out your fantasy for you

And you would be happy
And I’d make you smile
And I’d go on living a lie

Do you really want
To give your life to
Thinking you’ve found true love
When it hasn’t found you?”

— Kimberly Locke

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There are days I feel so unqualified and like I’m bashing my head against a brick wall. There is a solution in sight, so that’s a bit of a relief.

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“Don’t tell me your becoming jaded at your young age.”

Jaded: Dulled by experience or by surfeit.

This comment has caused me to do a good deal of reflection and thought. I am jaded, but that’s o.k. If I wasn’t, then what would have been learned?

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